To all the Dads out there

When I started to write this I had one specific friend in mind, however it should probably serve as a PSA for all dads who have weddings sometime in the future.

Leave your wallets at home!

Or at the very least, hand it to your wife.

Why you ask?

After my daughter's wedding this weekend, I became acutely aware of this phenomenon that overwhelmed me.

I became emotionally intoxicated .

Happy and and filled with joy, I found myself expressing my feelings by tipping anyone and everyone I came in contact with.

"Welcome to Mineral Springs Resort...do you need help with your bags"

$20!

"Greetings......you're in luck. Your room is ready so we can check you in early!"

Another $20!

The shuttle driver.....another double sawbuck!

The guy holding the door open.

Another Jackson.........and he was just another guest at the hotel!

Some guy hands you a cigar and says congratulations.

Not only does he get a c- note....you end up lighting that cigar with one as well.

Somehow, I turned into a blithering idiot throwing cash around like there was a printing press in my room.

It's how we dads show our happiness and appreciation.

We tip........................Everyone!

The women folk are much more sensible.They will tip when it's appropriate and do it without going overboard.

Dads, on the other hand, lose their minds and all connection to reason.

So please, let them hold the wallet!

Trust me........you'll be happier and wealthier if you do!

The two most important days

On the second day of Rosh Hashana, during his sermon, my rabbi referenced the two most important days of anyone's life:

• the day you are born and
• the day you figure out why.

(Yes Rabbi.I do pay attention!)

Tomorrow, I will celebrate the 64th anniversary of the first of my two most important days.

On Tuesday I will turn 65!

And my birthday wish for this year is that I don't have to wait too long to experience the second of those two most important days!

I ain't giving nothing away!

Sometime late sunday afternoon, just after the final whistle of the Giants/Lions game,I will accompany my oldest child down the aisle.

I am not sure where the idea of "giving away the bride" bega but let me be perfectly clear.........I ain't giving away anything!

What I will be doing is what I have always done and what I will continue to do as long as I am alive.

I will be there, by Sara's side as I was when she took her first steps,learned how to ride a bicycle,went off to her first day of school and for every other event and milestone in her still young life.

By her side.

Not dragging her along.

Not holding her up.

Not holding her back.

And certainly not to "give her away".

Being there,by her side,quietly,unassumingly,almost negligibly, is my job.

That's what dads do.

They are just there.

There in case.

There because.

There in spite of.

There because that's a dad's job.

To be there. That will never change.

I will always be there.

By her side.

Not because she needs me to be there.

Not because she expects me to be there.

Just because she knows that I will be there.

By her side.

Always and forever.

And that goes for all of my children.

Because that's what a dad does.

Beginning

“The most effective way to cope with change is to help create it.”

~ L.W. Lynett

Saturday evening, as he does weekly, my cousin texted me to check and see if I was joining him at the gym on Sunday morning.

To say I have been less than diligent in regards to my workout regimen would be an enormous understatement.Plainly put, I have all but abandoned any type of program for taking care of myself.

I texted back "sure" but to be honest my heart wasn't in it.

When the clock read 6 am, I even contemplated texting him back and cancelling.

Instead, reluctantly, I dressed and headed outside to wait for him to pick me up.

On the ride to the gym, something shifted in me.The conversation in my head went something like"if not now then when?"

With having Monday and Tuesday off from work, I had the opportunity to get to workout 3 days in a row.

Obviously you can't do 3 days in a row until you have done 2 and you can't do 2 until you do 1.I seem to remember something about "A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step".

Sunday morning's workout could be that single step.

Without judging how far I had fallen from where I once was, I set out to complete a 40 minute circuit of upper body exercises,chest, back and shoulders.

Having completed day 1, I was now in the position to tackle day 2.

Monday morning, after a bit of procrastinating,I headed back to Retro Fitness for my second workout in as many days.

45 minutes of legs.

Day 2 in the bag,I was ready and excited for day 3.

Happily I can report that I have met my commitment to myself.

3 days in a row at the gym.

First time in a very, very, very long time.

Opening my emails yesterday, I found that my mentor John Maxwell's word of the day was BEGINNING.

Coincidence or the Universe chiming in once again?

I suppose what I do to morrow will answer that question.

I'll let you know how that works out!

Fall has fallen

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy,

they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

–Marcel Proust

And just like that,it's Autumn!

I know,Fall arrived almost a month ago.,but it didn't seem much like Autumn.

Summer kept hanging on right through the beginning of October. There were a few days where the weather started to change,however an Indian Summer flew in and it seemed like we might never have that beautiful change in seasons.

Almost as if on cue, as the high holidays wrapped up and we began celebrating Sukkot, the harvest festival ....... whammo!

Autumn!

When I left for work early this morning it was 43 degrees.

Not only sweater weather,I had to don my vest as well.

As I drove my route today, leaves were falling and landscapers have traded in their mowers for blowers.

Kids heading to school were now dressed in jackets instead of shirtsleeves.

There's a nor'easter due to hit later this afternoon.

It's official.

Autumn is here.

And I for one could not be happier!

Like the Colonel

“So often people are working hard at the wrong thing. Working on the right thing is probably more important than working hard.”

~ Caterina Fake

Sitting at my desk, staring at the pile of bills, and the balance of my bank account at the same time, my shoulders slumped as I sank into my chair.

Life just seems to feel like such a struggle.

And now, on the brink of my 65th birthday, I found myself asking if this is as good as it gets.

At 65, have I passed my prime and are my best days behind me?

I questioned whether or not I had any more great ideas or has that ship sailed.

After all, I am going to be 65.

If I was going to be a success,shouldn't it have happened by now?

I've been at this came for decades and I have yet to find the secret ingredient to becoming an overnight success.

I wasn't feeling defeated.

I wasn't feeling desperate.

I certainly wasn't feeling dejected.

My fear was that I might be feeling content to just play out the string.

Then I opened a message from my mentor Darren Hardy that I had received a few days earlier.

His message that day shared with us the Harland Sanders story.

Making a long story short, Harland Sanders,also known as Colonel Sanders,after years of trying to make a business based around his fried chicken recipe and having little luck or no luck or a times what seemed like bad luck,hit on his "overnight" success story.

His story is an amazing one that was fraught with stops and starts ,with many setbacks including and not limited to a deadly shoot out,a fire which consumed his motel that he had opened and the onset of WWII.

After numerous attempts at entrepreneurship,the Colonel launched his Kentucky Fried Chicken store and began franchising it.

He eventually sold KFC for a whopping 2 million dollars ($15.3 million in today

dollars).

By 2013 there were over 18,000 KFC franchises worldwide.

Harland Sanders was 65 when he launched what we now know as KFC.

I guess that means I still have a shot at becoming an overnight success as well!

Pressed for time

“Be kind whenever possible; and it is always possible.”

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Maybe it's just me.

With Yom Kippur just a few hours away, I am truly feeling the pressure of not allowing myself enough time to prepare.

Part of the problem is that tonight begins the first of the 2 adult education classes I am teaching this semester.

Right smack in the middle of my evening tonight, I certainly won't have those few hours after dinner and before bed that I count on for "me" time.

Given that I work for what is basically a Jewish institution, I seem to be the only person who is focused on the Yom Tov and not the normal daily schedule.

Everytime I say something to someone their response is always "oh yeah...you're right!".

Is it just me?

Added to all of this is my families penchant for vegetarian foods over the traditional meals I have prepared in the past, I am completely unorganized when it comes to my shopping list.

So here's what I am dealing with:

A new cooking style

The nervous anticipation of the inaugural offering of my course

A full afternoon of driving

And multiple runs tomorrow including the last one of the day which won't get me home until 4 p.m.

Given that dinner has to get warmed up, and I need to be eating by 4:30 to be in shul by 5:30, it's understandable that I am feeling pressed for time.

DEEP BREATH TIME!

Somehow, it will come together.............it always does.

Felt Like Junk.........

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

Whatever was ailing me on Friday,was still hanging around yesterday, hence I did not write to you.

Although the achiness had subsided quite a bit, I could feel that something still wasn't kosher. I was tired, sleepy and a bit sluggish.

As was the case Friday, I was not about to let a whole day slip away so after dropping Susan at the shop, I set out on some errands.

A Home Depot run to return some stuff, then home to hook up a thermostat.

Of course that mandated a trip to Lowes for a tiny screwdriver before I could complete that job.

Unfortunately, there seems to be a problem from when we did the construction so for the time being we remain without heat.

After grabbing a quick lunch with Max, I decided that I had done enough and that it was time to surrender to whatever is ailing me.

I plopped down on the couch and before I knew it I had taken a quick, and very uncomfortable nap.

I woke up with a chill which kind of hung around for the rest of the day.

When Susan got home, we ran out, had some dinner and then went mattress shopping, something I have been putting off for way to long.

The new mattress arrives this Friday and one can only hope that the investment was a wise one and that both Susan and I will benefit from this purchase.

One should not wake up daily with a back ache!

Even though I felt like junk, I was unhappy that I did not write yesterday.

I kept telling myself that I really had no excuse and that I should sit down and write.

Obviously, that message has taken a full 24 hours to sink in.

It's getting near time to head back to work.

First I'll pop a few Advil. maybe grab a cup of tea and then off for some fun and frolicing behind the wheel once again.

Shavua Tov!

Ya Gotta Love Life!

“One of the most responsible things you can do as an adult is to become more of a child.”

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Lying in bed (I had to Google Laying vs. Lying) this morning, I pondered whether I really wanted to get up and start my day or just roll over and rest some more.

My body ached all over.

My knees, ankles hips and back were sore.

I knew that moving around would be a challenge today.

Never being one to shy away from a challenge and knowing full well that if I surrendered this time I would be opening Pandora's box, I opted to toss off the covers and get started with my day.

Not at all surprising to me, I was bent like a pretzel and every joint in my body was reminding me that I am riddled with arthritis and I just have to deal with that.

I made my way to my desk, checked my emails and such before heading into the kitchen to pack up lunches for Susan and Max.

(Yes....I pack healthy tasty lunches for them daily........please,no judging!)

After grabbing a cup of coffee and popping some Advil. I returned to my desk and set about accomplishing something, anything, that would make me feel productive.

First it was going through the enormous pile of mail that accumulates each week (Friday's are mail days).

Then it was posting and paying bills.

While my body still ached, I was certainly starting to feel better about myself at this point.

Next on my agenda was to deal with some specific challenges that I had been putting off for a while.

Mostly administrative detail, but nonetheless stuff that had to be handled.

One of these "challenges" presented as an opportunity to either be handled on-line or by getting up from my desk and going to the local cable company office.

Opting to challenge my body to move around, I chose the latter.

Off I went only to discover that I was missing a copy of a bill.

After driving back home and sorting through the garbage I had already discarded, I was once again off to try to resolve my issue only to find that when I got there, I had inadvertently left that exact piece of paper on my desk.

Once again, after another return trip, I found myself standing in the same line I had been in an hour earlier,this time prepared to complete my mission.

Back home, I continued my assault on getting things done .

After prepping dinner ,doing dishes and sending out a few emails, I eventually took a well deserved break and had some lunch.

My feet still ache.

My knees are still painful.

My back is as uncomfortable as it was 8 hours ago.

And yet,it's now just about 2:30 and I have had an incredibly productive day.

I think I'll make a fresh pot of coffee and then see what else I can accomplish given the day is barely half over!

Shabbat Shalom!

Time to regroup!

“It really boils down to knowing your goal, concentrating upon it, remaining determined and having the self-discipline to complete what you are doing.”

~ Dick Sutphen

Rosh Hashana has come and gone.

Next up,next week, we will celebrate Yom Kippur.

Sadly, I came into the High Holiday season ill prepared,particularly in a spiritual way.

I literally worked until about an hour and a half before the holiday started and never took the time to shut down and move on.

During services on Monday, a dear friend came to say hello.

As a devoted reader of my daily emails, he asked me how I was doing.

When I said "great" I was met with a suspect glance.

My response didn't jive with my messaging in my emails.

(He was right!)

Honestly , great may be an exaggeration.

For the most part things are fine.

I know there will be some rocky times ahead.

That's just the way life is.

Nonetheless, if I am being honest,I am a very fortunate person.

I am blessed with many things,friends, family, and a wonderful life.

However it is time to regroup.

Today I heard from the person who is the director of the adult school where I will be offering 2 courses this semester.

Besides checking in she started her email with"Hi David - Hope all is well. I really enjoy reading your emails ....."

Time to regroup!

And just now when I got home, when I sat down at my desk to check emails I found one with the subject "Where are you?"

Like I said,time to regroup!

I could offer up all sorts of excuses and explanations and reasons why I went silent for a week.

None of them matter. The only thing that does matter is that I understand that it is time to regroup!