Pressure is a Privilege

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.”

~ Frank Zappa

On my drive to work the other morning,one of the hosts on the sports talk show I was listening blurted out "Pressure is a Privilege" during one heated yet comical exchange.

Now Boomer Esiason may have been a really good quarterback in the NFL and is always an enjoyable , knowledgeable listen commentator, I would never have considered him as a leader in motivational speaking or the field of personal growth.

However, that comment "Pressure is a Privilege" resonated with me.

I connected to it immediately.

Like a bolt of lightning across a stormy sky, it illuminated everything around me.

I had my suspicions that this was not an original thought from Boomer so I Googled it .

The credit actually goes to tennis great Billie Jean King who shares life lessons and stories of her success in a book with that title.

While scrolling through Google posts on this phrase,I came across an article from 2015 entitled. "Grow or Die" by Douglas Conant. In it he writes"

Pressure is often viewed as a negative force in our lives. Understandably so. Undue pressure can be an enormous cause of stress and turmoil. But each challenge that comes along also presents important questions that test our character, our approach to leadership, and our approach to life: Do we dare to engage in the face of such pressures? Do we have the gumption to give it our all, knowing full well that we may fall visibly short? Do we have what it takes step up to the stresses of life? It has been my experience that it is essential to find a way to respond to all of these questions with a resounding, “yes.”

This explains my immediate connection to this phrase when I heard it.

I have always relished the challenge.

Shying away from "the pressure" is just not my style.

Taking on the stress has always been part of what I do.

Not caving under it has been and continues to be one of my strongest attributes.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger !

It's that inner strength that I rely on daily.

It's that same strength that fuels the fire that makes me who I am.

Pressure IS a Privilege.

And the privilege is a humbling experience.

Shabbat Shalom

Turning The Corner

“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”

Joseph Addison

After a 12 day hiatus,work on my family room has finally resumed.

The electric is being hooked up, the plumbing is being attended to and the sheet rock will get here later in the day.

Although pretty much still a huge mess, I am feeling like we are finally turning the corner heading towards a finished project.

Even more exciting is tat the contractor and I are on the same page (hopefully) as far as the little changes and adjustments that have popped up along the way.

My hopes are tat by the weekend, we will be stable enough to put the furniture back in place and finally have a chance to clean.

It has been weeks and everything just feels dirty.

My plan is to take a break before painting,even if it's just over the weekend to catch my breath.

That doesn't mean a weekend off.

Saturday Louis (my new main man) and I will replace all of the molding around the windows in the family room.

Sunday will be cleaning day.

Dusting, mopping, vacuuming and scouring the bathroom.

Construction is messy work!

Still, things are turning the corner and the finished project is starting to take shape.

In my world, that's a good thing.

I can only hope that in the end, it was all worth it.

June Word of the Month

  "If you knew you couldn't play tomorrow, how hard would you play today"

~ wall of Mission BBQ

June Word of the Month

PURPOSE

noun

1. the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists
2. synonyms:motive, motivation, grounds, cause, impetus, occasion, reason, point, basis, justification

Yesterday I attended the commencement exercises for the 92nd class of graduates from

The Holy Name School of Nursing.

My daughter Sara was one of the graduates.

I'm not one of those parents who gushes with pride at these events.

I am not given to hooting and hollering when my kids receive their diploma, award or certificate.

Making a spectacle of myself, or for that matter of the accomplishment itself,is not my style.

Humility?

Probably.

Don't get me wrong, my heart fills as much as anyone's, I just choose to be more reserved .

There were speeches galore yesterday, as there always are at these types of events.

Again, not my cup of tea but standard bill of fare.

The keynote speaker, a past graduate from the nursing school, shared her personal Journey with us in great detail.

Laced throughout her speech, was the concept of PURPOSE.

The message for those who stayed awake and paid attention, was clear.

Find your purpose.

The word PURPOSE resonated with me, hence that is why I have chosen it as my June Word of the Month.

Interestingly, when I Googled the word, there was no definition that seemed to capture the passion and depth of meaning that the keynote speaker was trying to impart to us.

Still,for me, the word PURPOSE strikes a chord in me.

It is directly connected to my core desire to be significant.

The two words are linked together.

A life with PURPOSE is a life of significance.

The question I find myself asking is must I know my purpose to have one?

Can I be significant without knowing (read having) a purpose?

How and when will I realize my purpose?

The more I explore this the more lost I feel.

I suppose that's called personal growth!

Little Things Count!

 "Have a vision. It is the ability to see the invisible. If you can see the invisible, you can achieve the impossible."

~ Shiv Khera

When I first sat down at my computer today, I had no idea what I wanted to write about.

The one thing I was certain of was that I wanted to keep up the good mojo and make sure that I wrote for the 4th day in a row.

You can't write everyday if you skip a day. You can't write for a week straight until you have written for 6 days in a row.

I'm sure you get the picture.

As I sat staring out of the window,I noticed a number of half done projects.

I took the pool down and mulched that area 8 weeks ago.

The rest of the yard has yet to be dealt with.

The family room, dining room and kitchen are still under construction .

The deck needs to be power washed.

The lawn is a bit overgrown.

IF I chose to, I could get down on myself for everything that's unfinished.

Or, as I have opted for, I can feel good about what has gotten accomplished so far.

When I look at the area where the pool once was, I see the potential for the garden/sitting area we are creating.

The deck is scheduled to be power washed sometime in July, after all of this rain and once the bulk of the remodel of the inside of the house is done.

The lawn will get cut ,probably over the weekend.

Things are getting done.

Not just grand projects like tearing down the pool or reconfiguring our family space.

Little things are being taken care of as well.

Yesterday, I took apart the kerfuffle of wires that were connected to my computer.

All cleaned up, I now have everything that was once disconnected reconnected and in a fashion that when I have to move things around when the work starts again , it won't be the mess that I had last week.

I was able to bring power to the tortoise's tank so that we could turn the heat lamps back on.

The poor little guy was freezing!

The counter top is cleared so I can now prepare meals once again.

(Eating out is a) expensive and b) not as healthy!).

Little changes make a big difference!

Remember that old adage I coined a few years back:

"Incremental is Monumental!"

I am reminded of the whole glass half ull/glass half empty argument.

It's all in how you choose to look at it.

My choice has always been it's my glass and I can fill it as much as I want as many times as I want as often as I went whenever I choose to do so!

Little things count!

Why should I read your emails?

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.”

~ Josh Billings

My friend Eric called me the other day.

I have not spoken to Eric in at least 3 years.

We send each other birthday greetings.

If he posts something to Facebook,I normally acknowledge it with a like.

After working with each other for 15 years, our paths parted ways as we both moved forward in life.

He reached out seeking some information, and we both acknowledged that it was time to grab a coffee and catch up.

While a firm date has not been set yet, we do have a basic plan.

Before hanging up he asked me "by the way.....tell me why I should be reading your emails?"

Huh?

No one has ever asked me that before.

"I get hundreds of emails daily. I am busy. Why should I read your emails?"

I was completely at a loss for an answer.

And that's exactly how I responded to him.

I said I have no idea why.

I write because I love to write.

I invited him to become part of my email list way back when (he has been receiving my emails since I started writing).

At the time, he and I spoke on a daily basis, often 2 or 3 times a day.

It was only natural that I would have asked him to be one of the people supporting me as I took on the challenge of changing the direction of my life.

Admittedly,my writing has changed over the last 6 years (yes 6 years!).

Some of it is good.

Some of it maybe not so much.

Sometimes I write something that someone connects to.

Other times I am sure I have made some people uncomfortable.

One thing I am always concerned with is not coming of as someone telling anyone else how to live or what to do with their lives.

I write about me,my life, my challenges, my Journey and my experiences.

In the end I guess the only answer I could come up with was "I can't tell you why since I will never tell you what to do.

The next morning I received the following note from The Universe:

Ten thousand times a day, dear David,for ten thousand different reasons, angels share your story to inspire, comfort, and reassure the world's most able dreamers, thinkers, and lovers. 

Well, I'd want to know -

   The Universe

Maybe Eric should have asked The Universe instead of me!

Downsizing?

“Remember, it's OK to get what you want from life.”

~ Stuart Wilde

As the work has progressed on our family living space

it has become abundantly obvious that over the past 3 decades we have accumulated a lot of stuff.

Furniture, chackies,papers and stuff.

So much stuff that a good deal of time is spent each day we are working here either moving stuff, climbing over stuff, tripping over stuff or covering over stuff.

It has become clear to me that it is time to start getting rid of stuff.

I often hear the seniors on my bus talking about this problem.

Many of them have moved into smaller space, either from their homes into an apartment or from their apartments into a senior living facility.

Each and everyone of them faces the same challenge.

They have all accumulated stuff.

Decades and decades of stuff.

So they downsize.

Often I hear:

"Who needs all of this stuff?

"Why did I save all of this stuff?"

"What am I going to do with this stuff?"

"I have no room for this stuff!"

Arnie and Vivian's first born may not have been born a genius, however he isn't a dummy either.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it's time for me to start getting rid of stuff.

However, unlike the case of my seniors, for me it is less about downsizing and more about making room for what will come next.

The seniors all seem to be winding up the final chapters of their stories.

I,on the other hand, feel like I am getting started on the next chapter which is the gateway to my next adventure.

Downsizing feels like minimizing.

What I am engaged in is creating clear space for maximizing.

Big difference!

They all speak of winding down.

I am excited about ramping up.

There are similarities in both scenarios.

There is the whole letting go thing.

(it's tough sometimes!)

Every piece of bric a brac has a story, a memory.

Still, most of this stuff has to get tossed to make room for new memories.

The other day, while in the middle of one of these purges, I rolled up our dinig room rug and tossed it into the dumpster.

This rug sat under our dining room table and was Loki's favorite spot to be.

Loki is gone almost 2 years now.

Still I had been unable to part with this memory.

That was until last Wednesday .

OUT!

Painful as it was, it was time.

There is a delicate balance between the pain of loss and the excitement of new possibilities.

I am experiencing both.

It's the Yin Yang of life.

And I'm really okay with that.

Construction Zone!

“Wealth flows from energy and ideas.”

~ William Feather

For the better part of the last 2 weeks, our house has been a construction zone.

Actually it feels more like a war zone.

Other than the bedrooms and bathroom, the rest of the house has, for the most part, become uninhabitable.

We had no kitchen at all last week.

The family room ,which is where my office was, is completely torn apart.

The entire back end of the house is without electricity.

As I write this, I am sitting here waiting for the building inspector.

Once he gives his bureaucratic blessing, we can begin the process of rebuilding enroute to being able to live a "normal" life sometime soon.

I'm not complaining, just explaining.

Truth be told, since we put the addition on almost 30 years ago, I have been saying "someday I would love to.....".

After the hot water heater broke ruining the floors, someday felt more like NOW.

What's that expression ?

If not now when, and if not for me then for who?

at times I question the necessity to doing this?

It's a lot more work than I anticipated.

The costs, and I am not just talking dollars and cents, has been far greater than I imagined.

Certainly the END is nowhere in sight.

This will be a process.

Still, I can't help but to come back to how many times I said SOMEDAY.

Ultimately I made the decision that the time was now.

Speaking of which,during the last week, I had an anniversary of another if not now when decision in my life.

Last Thursday marked 6 years to the day ,June 13th,2013, that I began this part of my Journey.

It is 2195 days since I sent out the first of these daily emails.

I really wanted to write to you last week,however with the house torn up, no office, no computer,no internet, no WIFI, and lots and lots of dust and debris,that never happened.

Fortunately ,by last Friday we were able to recapture temporarily, use of the kitchen.

I have also been able to carve out a small workspace for the time being,set up my computer ,which is how I have created the opportunity to write today.

There will probably be one more brief shut down period(possibly two) before we turn the corner to putting things back in place

6 years!

Wow....that seems like a long time.

Yet somehow it also seems like it was just yesterday.

Funny how that happens!

See you tomorrow!

You have to put in the work

“There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

Nelson Mandela

As you may have figured out by now, I am not happy with myself lately.

I am not happy with my weight.

I am not happy with my appearance.

I am not happy with my physical condition.

I am not happy with my financial state.

I am not happy with the general direction of my life (mainly because it feels like I don't have one!).

These are just some of the things in my sphere that I am not happy with.

The really disturbing part is that I seem to be unwilling to do anything about in this moment.

I am unwilling to make the effort to change any of this.

I am not willing to put in the work.

Am I lazy?

Not usually.

Am I tired?

Maybe ,but that's really a lame excuse.

Am I confused as to where to start?

No....just do something.

Anything!

So what is it that's keeping me from making the changes I know how to make?

Is it a motivation thing?

I'm not sure.

In an aha moment (I just had) a thought did occur to me.

I am a little bit lonely.

I spend the bulk of my day by myself.

And given all of the things I listed above, I am not very good company to be around.

I am uninspired.

I am a little bit bored.

And the worst part is that I know better than this.

I know that I am the only one who can make the changes that need to be made.

I have not been to the gym.

I have not been diligent about my diet.

I have not put in any time for studying or reading or listening to audiobooks.

The answer as I stated is a simple one.

DO SOMETHING!

ANYTHING!

And then do it again,and again and again and then add 1 more thing and do the same.

It's like the directions on a shampoo bottle...

Lather...Rinse....Repeat!

Like Heroine or Crack Cocaine!

"He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough."

Lao Tzu

I am a addict!

My drug of choice is not heroine or crack.

I don't drink or smoke.

My addiction probably doesn't come up very often in discussions surrounding dependencies.

Mine is quite unique.

I am addicted to doing,to creating,to accomplishing.

And as it is with most addictions, to reach my next high,I need more than I did before. And when the high happens, sustaining it takes more.

Consequently,the yearning to get high again becomes more and more pervasive and invasive.

I get antsy.

I become uneasy.

I am disquieted.

It is truly unsettling.

It has been quite some time since I have gotten high.

This is leading to depression,anxiousness and probably has a lot to do with my feeling angry for long periods of time.

I need my fix!

Rehab is not an option for me.

I just have to find another high!

I am afraid that until I do, the discomfort will continue.

Maybe an intervention?

Nah....I am way past that!

I just need another fix.

Problem is,I just can't seem to find one lately!

Nice Guys

"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world."

~ Arthur Schopenhauer

They say (who ever they are) that nice guys finish last.

I consider myself one of the nice guys.

My experience lately is that nice guys often are taken for granted,taken advantage of or more commonly completely overlooked.

It has gotten to the point that I sometimes find myself contemplating not being the nice guy.

My kids ,who have picked up this annoying attribute, being the nice guy,have found themselves asking the same question.

My advice to them has always been the same.

You can't help being who you are no matter how people treat you.

Today I find myself questioning that sage advice.

I understand the dilemma my kids are feeling.

I'm feeling it as well.

It feels abusive.

It's discouraging.

At times, it's down right infuriating.

That is if you let it.

Or, I can choose to stay true to myself.

Continue down the high road which I have always taken.

And choose to be the nice guy.

The cost of being anything else is just too great of an expense.

Shabbat Shalom!