Money Helps.................

“Dance like no one is watching. 

Sing like no one is listening. 

Love like you’ve never been hurt. 

And live like it’s heaven on Earth.”

~ Mark Twain

I have been attempting to write this since Tuesday.

Every day since then , I have gotten to change the date on the top of the template and then something pops up.

Actually, on 3 separate occasions, my computer froze and by the time I rebooted I had to get back to work and had to put this aside yet again.

The holiday season is here.

With that comes gift giving, parties,get togethers and a plethora of social events.

In the past,finances and resources were scarce to say the least.

The pressure that I experienced was unfathomable.

I know what you're thinking, I brought this pressure on myself.

Of course I did...I know that.

None the less, it was pressure.

This year things are different.

No, I didn't hit the lottery.

No rich relative left me a huge inheritance.

And I did not rob a bank.

Having a job, with a paycheck certainly helps.

So did having a plan and an idea as to how I wanted to address the holiday season this year.

I had put aside just enough to be able to afford to do this with out creating a huge strain on anything.

The bills all got paid. The lights are still on and the car isn't getting repossessed.

These are all good things .

Trust me.

As one who has experienced all of the above, it's better to not have to deal with them!

It is said that money can't buy happiness.

Probably true, however....it does help when you have some.

Not having to have internal debates on a minute to minute basis over can I afford this or how can I afford that or but we really need this or wouldn't it be nice if only we could.....

Having that little , and I mean minuscule, cushion makes a huge difference.

No hand wringing.

No pacing.

No neck pain.

No head hanging.

I stand taller. I can be decisive.

I can be proactive.

I don't choose grand gestures that I can't afford. I don't even consider them.

I make smart choices that allow me to feel good about being me.

That's a whole world apart from being disappointed in myself on a daily basis.

Money helps.....

Shabbat Shalom

December Word of the Month

"The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention."

Oscar Wilde

December Word of the Month:

HEART

 one's innermost character, feelings, or inclinations

Last week while paying a shiva call, my rabbi shared a story from Pirkei Avot (The Ethics of Our Fathers).

The story told of a great rabbi who asked 5 of his students to name the single most best quality a person could posses.

While the first 4 answers were all very plausible choices as "the best" it was the 5th student's response that he chose as The Best Quality.

The student's answer was one who was a "Lev Tov",a good heart.

A Lev Tov in Hebrew ,a good heart is a very special quality,not to be confused or compared to as we say in English, being goodhearted.

It is much more.

A Lev Tov is an all encompassing quality,of goodness,too hard to describe in mere words.

Even the Yiddish expression a "gute neshoma" , a good spirit or good sole, does not accurately equate to a Lev Tov.

When searching Webster's for a definition that would work for me, the best I could find was the one above,one's innermost character, feelings, or inclinations, but that still does not begin to rise to the level of a Lev Tov, it merely describes where to find it

.

A Lev Tov.

I should only live long enough to someday be blessed with this quality.

Shavua Tov!

Not the first time and probably not the last...............

"Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you."

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

This is not the first time I've brought this up and it probably won't be the last time either.

I miss Becky!

It's been over 2 years since she left to start a family.

Yes I miss her presence.

Remember , we spent 5 hours a day,5 days a week with our desks adjacent to one another, a mere 3 feet separating us.

For over a decade, whenever I looked up from my desk, Becky was right there.

We worked together, traveled together, matured together and accomplished together.

You don't spend that much time in such close proximity to someone without developing a very special relationship.

I really miss that.

I also miss having a "Becky" to work with.

A Becky to bounce ideas off of.

A Becky who followed up on things for me.

A Becky who took my WHY's and What IF's and helped implement them.

When I would say "We need to....." it would happen.

Okay first there was usually that look the Tonto would give the Lone Ranger when he said We....you know the one....the one that says "what do you mean WE pale face!"

But then, it got done.

Things in my world are on an upswing.

Opportunities from the seeds I have been planting are starting to grow.

This is all good!

However, there is no Becky for me to turn to for help sitting at the desk next to mine anymore.

In fact, as of 3 weeks ago, there is no desk next to mine anymore.

I find myself at the crossroads of enthusiastic and overwhelmed.

Kind of unsettling.

2 roads that lead in very different directions.

Now that the other desk is gone, I know I will have to find a new way to handle all of the things that were taken care of by a Becky.

Outsourcing is definitely an option. Not one that I am proficient at ,but still an option.

Still,I miss Becky.

Imagine Don Quixote without Sancho Panza?

Quick Draw without Baba Looey?

Abbot without Costello?

Batman without Robin?

Unheard of right?

I've said it before and I'll say it again..................I miss Becky!

Shabbat Shalom!

Happy Hanukkah?

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Yes,it's that time of year again.

Hanukkah!

A festive, joyous time of year.

At least that what it's supposed to be.

For me, not so much.

Now before you go accusing me of being a Sgroogeberg,I want to say that I don't know why it is that I don't get all pumped up for this holiday.

I just don't.

Maybe there are some deep rooted issues from my childhood.

Remember I grew up during the time when Kenner, Hasbro, Mattel and other toy companies would bombard the airwaves with the newest,neatest,coolest must have stuff imaginable and trust me,we could never afford any of them.

Maybe it's tied to not being able to afford to lavish my own children with gifts when they were young.

Maybe it's memories of being the only person I knew on campus who lit candles?

All I know is I don't have a whole lot of warm fuzzy feelings associated with Hanukkah.

On the contrary, the more I dwell on it, the more painful and depressing memories pop up for me.

So happy is not what I experience during these 8 days.

The best part of this holiday for me is that for 8 nights in a row, I get to spend some time, no matter how brief that is, with my family.

Wrap that up and put a bow on it and it's the best gift I can ever receive!

2001.......A Less Space Odyessy

"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GET OUT OF LIFE THAT COUNTS; IT'S WHAT YOU GIVE AND WHAT IS GIVEN TO YOU FROM THE HEART."

SARGENT SHRIVER

I'll keep this short and simple.

If you remember, this whole writing thing started when I was seeking support as I attempted 1 more time to do something about my weight and health.

Simply, I was hoping to write for 100 days, starting with 1 person on day 1 and adding 1 more each day for 100 days.

That my friends was 2001 days ago!

And now I take up a whole lot less space!

Just sayin'................

Nothing to fear but fear itself

“The full measure of a man is not to be found in the man himself, but in the colors and textures that come alive in others because of him.”

Albert Schweitzer

Before heading out to the gym this morning I checked my emails as I do first thing every day .

One of my emails was from a dear friend commenting on my writing from yesterday. I didn't have time to read the whole email as my ride was outside honking. However in her opening sentence she made mention of the fact that I write about my time management issues quite a bit (she's a Scorpio as well !).

This stuck with me for the entire 30 minutes I was on the treadmill today.

What is it about time that concerns me so?

The one and only answer I came up with is that time is a resource that will eventually run out.

When my days are done, they're done!

Am I afraid that I am getting closer and closer to that time?

Is it fear of this inevitability that keeps me on edge all of the time?

Let's be honest here.

The candle of my life is now burning on the lower half.

There are most certainly less tomorrows than there are yesterdays and that equation changes on a daily basis.

Do I fear my proximity to the finish line?

Am I overly concerned that the flame on my candle will soon be extinguished?

When I came home from the gym, I went back to my computer and read the rest of her email.

It made me smile.

You see, she sees that candle as a scented one (my words,not hers) .

While it is true that there is less and less candle left to burn each day, the perfume from that candle , having burned as long as it has, continues to fill the air more and more each day.

Even as the flame starts to flicker and diminish,and it always does,there will be the scent left behind.

The undeniable byproduct of that burning candle.

A candle light that illuminates a room will eventually die out.

The aroma in the air will last much much longer.

That is the legacy.

Thank you my friend!

Where did the week go?

"I learned to look more upon the bright side of my condition, and less upon the dark side, and to consider what I enjoyed, rather than what I wanted..."

~ Daniel Defoe, "Robinson Crusoe"

Don't even ask me where this week went.

I haven't got a clue.

One minute it was Tuesday and it looked like clear sailing ahead and the next thing I knew it was Saturday and I hadn't had a minute to myself for days.

Today I am finally able to grab some time to catch up on a bunch of stuff that I have neglected ,including writing!

So what's been going on?

Well, my evenings were eaten up visiting a friend who was sitting shiva this week.

I am glad I did, even though it came at the expense of any later in the day free time.

Of course there was the funeral itself which took care of my Tuesday free time.

Wednesday just seemed to disappear, and for the life of me I can't remember where.

There was my interview with the Ridgewood Adult School on Thursday which went very well (I will be teaching my So You Want To Start A Business course in March).

I also had to get a re certification of my CDL medical certificate which for some reason took up most of my Friday morning.

All I know is that in a week that I hoped would bring opportunities to keep moving forward, I did a lot and accomplished very little if that makes any sense at all.

It's a little bit after noon now and after a spending some time having lunch with Max, I hope to spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up my desk and getting myself prepared for the upcoming week.

I feel a lite bit disoriented and a quiet afternoon of regrouping seems like just what I need to regain my balance.

Shabbat Shalom and I'll write again soon!