Today was another "hole in my sock" day.
You know what I mean. 
First thing in the morning,as you are getting dressed you find a hole in your sock. 
Then a stain on your shirt. 
Then you break a shoe lace.
You get the picture.
I did not sleep well at all last night.
There was a lot weighing on my mind which led to a very vivid an unsettling dream. 
It was so disturbing that I woke up filled with anxiety.
Not the way to start a busy day.
(It was the busy schedule that was haunting my sleep).
It was really chilly as I walked to my car. 
Key in the ignition.
Nothing. 
Dead battery!
As you can well imagine, I could have chosen to see this as a portend of the kind of day I was going to have. Instead, I chose to view it for what it was,a dead battery.
The extra heavy volume of traffic?
Chalk it up to a Monday commute.
The construction every where I turned?
Long over due road maintenance. 
All of these and the numerous other detours to my day, could have fallen under the banner of "just my luck" or "of course this is happening to me".
Instead, as I said before, I chose to roll up my sleeves and slug through the day.
Look, I get it.
There are going to be days that feel like the world is conspiring against me.
When they occur, as they undoubtedly do from time to time, I am fortunate enough to now understand that maybe, just maybe I should take inventory of what is going on in my life .
Maybe some changes are in order?
Maybe some conversations should be had?
Maybe there are challenges that need to be met instead of ignored?
Time to realize that these maybes are really "Ya Thinks".
(BTW-I got a new battery!)

I am finding that my Fridays are vanishing before me lately.
I think it may be because I have less commitments on my schedule which gives me more time to run errands and attend to many of the things that I have put aside during the week.
And of course , there is preparing for Shabbat dinner which if you have not figured out by now is the highlight of my week.
One of the casualties of this is I often don't take the opportunity to write to you . Maybe I should consider changing How Am I Doin' Fridays to What's Happenin' Saturdays?
For the most part, Saturday's have become the one day a week that I have me time.
Even on a day like today, where I will eventually find myself at the shop helping out, my schedule is such that I can relax a bit. 
I am scheduling my time for me, not for others which is a huge difference.
One thing I have noticed is that this has an enormous effect on my approach to food.
In the past, Saturdays were rough on my diet.
Because the pressures of the week were off, I found myself using food to soothe myself and wind down.
Today, with the weekly demands on my time that I deal with, my freedom to have some me time replaces the need to self medicate with food.
The void that existed is no longer there.In fact the void has become an opportunity.
And I don't seem to have any problem taking advantage of this new found freedom. I run all sorts of errands and take the opportunity to find some chore to take care of or task to complete. 
More often than not, some time mid week, I find myself saying "man am I glad I took care of whatever on Saturday".
I have about 2 hours of me time left on this particular Saturday before I have to jump in and give Susan a hand at the shop.
I have already handled a bunch of little things that needed my attention. I have some computer work that I will have to deal with eventually. I'm not sure if that eventually will be today or not. 
Sunday morning will be here soon enough and the demands on my time will begin by 6 a.m.
For now, I think I will finish my apple (today is an apple day) grab a cup of coffee and take a few minutes to sit quietly and relax.Shabbat Shalom!

I consider myself a fairly responsible shopper. 
When ever possible I buy the store brand, if it is comparable to the name brand. 
I shop for produce at a market where the pricing is much less than at the super market.
I stock up on sale items that I use with regularity,things like tuna,mayonnaise,olives,etc.,
mostly canned goods which I know will have a shelf life.
I don't buy in bulk partially because of storage and partially because if I shop prudently I can normally find pricing that matches the warehouse pricing.
I  occasionally shop at the dollar store, however, you have to be careful because counts are often deceptive.
Take coffee filters for instance. 
A pack of filters in one dollar store has 50 filters. In another dollar store there are 100 in a pack. The super market has 200 filters for $1.29. 
You see?
 You have to be careful!
One item Susan has been buying at the dollar store is my bath soap.
For $1 you get a bottle of soapy goop in varying colors,scents and viscosity.
Over the years she has found dozens of different ones and they all do basically the same job.
About 3 months ago, I opened the latest bottle of bath gel that she had purchased and proceeded to put some on my wash cloth. 
Immediately I noticed a difference. 
It was thicker than anything else I had ever had .
Instead of some monochromatic ooze, this had a lustrous pearled sheen to it.
As I worked my wash cloth to lather it up,the pleasant scent wafted towards me ,so much so that I could hardly wait to apply it.
It was luxurious!
I mean it was a truly sensuous experience.
After my shower , I told Susan that this was the best bath gel she had ever found and we should stick to it. Every time she went to the dollar store she would try to find more.She saved the bottle when it was empty so that she could search all of the dollar stores she frequents.
 3 months and no luck.
Week after week, bottle after bottle, we have never been able to find this soap again at a dollar store. 
When I stepped into the shower earlier this week I was surprised to see a fresh bottle of the mystery potion.
I thanked Susan and asked her where she finally found it. 
She said she actually found it at the super market, however it was not $1.
I asked her how much it was and she replied "$3.49".
I have made the decision to become fiscally irresponsible and treat myself to this luxury when I need more.
I know you are probably saying "man you're crazy!" 
That's 3 1/2 times more than the dollar store goop.'
Well guess what?
I'm gonna do it any way! 
I think deserve it!

A Tale of Two Friendships

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it 
was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness. . . ."
 Such is the story of my life and the tale I would like to share with you today. 
I have these 2 friends. I met them just about a year apart almost 30 years ago.
They come from worlds as disparate as any could possibly be.
As they are both my friends, they have had occasion to meet each other.
They certainly know of each other and of my friendship with each of them.
The only connection to their distinctly different worlds is me.
There is today, a strange commonality for the 2 of them. 
They are both embarking on new lives.
My one friend had landed the job of a lifetime.
It fulfills his passions as well as hopefully his coffers. He has worked diligently building a foundation and a resume which has afforded him this opportunity.
He has earned it. He has worked hard to achieve this position. He will be hugely successful.
Similarly my other friend is starting anew as well. 
After a lifetime of more than just brush ups with the law, he finds himself at the doorway leading to an opportunity to lead what most would consider a normal life.
He is looking forward to getting a new job, finding a home and building the rest of his lifetime.
He has made his own way to this place in life. He has paid dearly for his choices and relishes the opportunity that is before him.
Last week both of my friends went shopping. They both bought a couple of new suits, albeit one at a nice men's store and the other at the local thrift shop.
They are both experiencing radical changes,for the better, in their lives.
These 2 individuals could not be further apart from each other yet their Journeys have taken each of them to the step off points for a new life.
The one thing they have in common?
They are both my friends.
As I write this, I can't begin to tell you just how much happiness I feel for both of them.
I look at where they are and the paths they are embarking upon and it warms my heart.
When I step back for a second, I find myself taking stock of my own life.
The first thing that comes to me is Harry Chapin's song Taxi.
While I drive a bus, not a cab,the story is not that far removed. 
One line keeps coming around for me:
"another man might have been angry and another man might have been hurt....."
Me?
I am neither.
 I am happy for the both of my friends and I am thankful for all that I have in my life......
including the bus I drive!

If you ever want to take a really nice road trip for your vacation, may I suggest a driving tour through New York State.
There is nothing that compares to it. 
Leave New York City out of the equation.
Starting at the New Jersey border, in the space of 3 hours, you can drive through a multitude of differing geographic,cultural and historical regions. I know because yesterday I took that drive.
As I drove north on the NY State Thruway, I passed through the Hudson Valley region, The Catskills, The Capital District,The Leatherstocking Region and eventually ended up in the Adirondacks. It was quite a drive and had it not been for the incessant sheets of rain pummeling my windshield, it probably would have been a wonderful trip.
This was not a vacation for me. I was heading off to a reunion of sorts.
27 years ago, I hired a fellow who had just finished a 7.5 year vacation courtesy of the correctional department of the great state of New York.
He worked for me for the next 20 years.
In a very short while after we met, he became much more than another employee. Within 6 months he was one of my most trusted and valuable managers.
He had also become my friend, a friendship that has grown for almost 3 decades now. 
2 weeks ago, my friend returned home from anther NY State penal vacation.
The minute he walked out of the front gates,he asked his ex who had come to pick him up if he could borrow her phone. 
"I need to call my boss" he told her.
Even though we have stayed in touch through letters, it was great to hear his voice. 
The greatest part was that this time he sounded different. 
Something had changed.
Lucid ,excited yet a bit somber, he said"Boss, I'm done!".
I believed him.
I had never heard this from him in the past. There was always a fresh start, doing the same nonsense that had afforded him these fully paid vacations. 
In the past, he headed right back to the same streets and the same communities where he had learned and honed his skills.
"Boss, I made arrangements to go live in a shelter,miles away from my old haunts". "I don't need  or want that anymore'" 
"I want a life."
Something in his voice sounded sincere.
I am still uncertain if my trip up north was to see an old friend or to look in his eyes and see if in fact he had truly come to a crossroads in his life.
In either case, I wanted to support my friend.
27 years is a long time and much water has passed beneath that bridge.
The home he is living in has about 20 residents. 
It's a nice place.
There are rules to follow and a structured regimen to be adhered to.
My friend is soaking in every bit of it.
Grasping at every opportunity to make the right choice, I see in him the same commitment that has grown in me to never go back to where I once was.
There will be no applause coming from me. 
Lord knows, over the almost 3 decades I have known him , all of his history is of his own choosing.
I will be there to support him.
Not financially.
 I am not in that position nor does he need me to be.
Not with a job. 
I no longer have a position to offer.
I will be there as his friend. 
No one knows better than I do how important having friends can be.
Shavua Tov!

It's another splendidly cool crisp Fall morning today. The only problem with this is that it is early September and technically still summer.
I am enjoying this brief bit of sweatshirt weather before things heat up again as I am fairly confident they will shortly.
The nice thing is that the a.c. has been of for almost a week now and I don't see the need to turn it back on in the near future.
While it is at times a necessity, I am generally not a fan.
I enjoy having the windows open and letting the fresh air do its thing.
We are a few short weeks,less than 3 actually, from the High Holidays. 
There is something different for me heading into the holiday season. 
I feel like maybe I am taking the opportunity to prepare for the holiday this year.
In the past, no mater how much I think about it, and how much I try to plan for it, the holidays seem to just suddenly appear and I am scrambling at the last minute to be ready for them. 
It's is as much , maybe more of  mental preparation than the actual physical preparations.
Yes the house needs to be clean.
Yes there must be some outfits to wear to shul.
Yes there are meals to be prepared and there is the interruption of my daily running of my bushiness and financial commitments.
All of these seem to be well under control at this point. Sure there will be some last minute shopping and stuff, however for the most part I think I am in pretty good shape regarding all of this.
The mental part of the season has always been a challenge to me.
Whether it was rushing to get stores set up or stressing getting late production out the door, year after year I would find that literally right up until we sat down for dinner on Rosh Hashana, I had not granted myself the gift of emotionally and spiritually preparing for the New Year.
Bam!
Rosh Hashana.
Bam!
Yom Kippur.
Bam!
Sukkot.
Bam!
 Simchat Torah.

Before I knew what hit me it was mid October and Halloween was upon me.
The Jewish Holidays were done but the holiday season continued.  
Bam!
It's my birthday.
Bam! 
Thanksgining.
The New York Halloween show and then......
Bam! 
Chanukah, Christmas and New Years.
For me it is a 3 1/2 month holiday season that sneaks up on me and then in a flash is gone and I am heading off to the yearly Halloween Show in late January followed by the cold of winter and a frenzied selling season.
 I always feel like it sneaks up on me and I am running from behind trying to catch up to connecting to this fabulous time of year.
I can say with out any hesitation this is absolutely my favorite time of the year.
Maybe this year I can actually find a way to enjoy it!
Shabbat Shalom!

September Word of the Month:
ACCOUNTABILITY

Yesterday was a really great day. The weather was pleasant and I found myself in a really fantastic mood. At one point I was singing along with one of my favorite songs on the radio. I don't mean singing like following a long. I mean belting it out as if I were a finalist on America's Got Talent.
I made some long over due phone calls.
I cleaned up a multitude of emails and tidbits that were cluttering my desk.
Like I said, it was a really great day.
Today when I awoke the skies were even brighter than yesterday. So why if that's the case am I in such a dower mood on the the first day of September and another How Am I Doin' Friday?
It has a lot to do with the September word of the month, accountability.
Like any one else, I come in contact with and have to deal with a lot of different people.
Each and every one of them have their own idiosyncrasies. 
Some may call them quirks or peculiarities. 
That's what makes us individuals not automatons.
We recognize them and for the most part we deal with them to the best of our abilities.
Some times these "quirks" become a bit much.
They create an uncomfortable environment for those who have to deal with them.
For years now it has been the "in" way of being to "just be me".
Accept me as I am is the norm of the day.
Much like the attitude that spawned Gordon Gecko's famous line from the movie Wall Street "Greed is Good", bad behavior disguised as "well it's just my way" has become the accepted practice.
Let me fill you in on a little secret.
Greed is not good. 
Neither is bad behavior disguised as quirkiness. 
We have a responsibility when we interact with others. 
I get the whole "I have to be true to myself" stuff.
However,if me being me is just flat out weird, then maybe me should go live in the woods by myself.
When others are effected by my idiosyncratic behavior, I have the responsibility of curbing my quirkiness while working in and around them. 
ACCOUNTABILITY
How do my actions effect those around me?
Did I leave a mess on the table I just ate at at the fast food restaurant?
Did I flush the toilet after I used it?
Did I put the seat down?
These are small examples of personal accountability.
It comes along with common decency. 
If others are depending on me to do something, it's Nike time.
Just Do It!
Simply saying "oops , I forgot, but hey that's just how I am" does not cut it.
My friend and colleague Doug Smith who coaches companies around leadership and team work may have some insight into dealing with this "accept me as I am" modality that permeates today's world and maybe he can shed some light on it for me.
Maybe I'm just old fashioned. 
I hold open doors for people ...all people not just pretty women.
I say please and thank you and good morning and yes I even smile at people.
And most importantly, if it is my responsibility to get something done. particularly when it may effect others, I make sure it gets done. 
ACCOUNTABILITY!
If getting something done is your responsibility, hold yourself accountable and make sure that it gets done!
Shabbat Shalom!