Falling Forward

"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear."

~ Rosa Parks

Falling forward. You know what I mean. You are walking along and suddenly your toe catches on a crack in the sidewalk or a root coming up through the ground. Your entire body lurches forward and you stumble completely out of control,all the while moving in a forward direction.

This is exactly how the last few months of my life have felt like.

Completely out of control yet constantly moving forward.

I suppose the good news is I haven't fallen flat on my face.

More good news is that my stumbling and bumbling has been forward,which in my view is always a good thing.

With that said, there has not been anything comfortable about any of this.

Nor has it been enjoyable.

As a matter of fact, besides being frustrating,it has been quite exhausting .

To be completely honest, I don't know exactly how to steady myself.

There have been moments when I actually have hoped that I would in fact just fall and hit the ground.Maybe that would afford me the opportunity to gather myself and get my wits about me and begin to move forward with purposefully.

Seriously, these last few weeks and months have been exhausting with little to show for the expended energy.

It's now almost 5 pm on a Friday afternoon. One of the rare Fridays I have had to kind of catch up.

My hopes are it is the first of many.

Maybe it will turnout to be the day hat the stumbling and bumbling comes to an end. Maybe when I start my day tomorrow it will be with the confidence and conviction that will ultimately allow me to find that purposefulness in my life once again.

One can only hope!

Shabbat Shalom!