Saying Good -Bye to Bentley

“Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.”

Author Dean Koontz

Last night we said our good-byes to Bentley.

For the second time in 13 months, we made the decision that it was time to do the humane thing ,no matter how much pain it would bring to us.

Back in August,we found out that Bentley had lymphoma.

The doctors were fairly accurate in their prognosis of just how quickly this would progress.

Fortunately, he made it to his birthday last weekend and Sara had one more opportunity to celebrate with him.

In Sara's Facebook post last night, she shared her feelings in an unbelievably poignant way.

She said that it was more than a privilege to be able to raise him, they grew up together.

He was her special best friend ,being by her side during those often stressful teenage years through young adulthood.

Together they experienced life.

Even though Bentley lived here with us after Sara moved out 4 years ago, make no mistake,he was her dog.

Bentley was Sara's first rescue, although I am not sure who actually rescued who.

Who knew then that this would pave the way to Sara's passion to work with rescues.

It is said that into each life some rain must fall.

It started raining as we were leaving the vet's office last night.

The rain intensified through the night.

It felt like the relentless downpour would never end.

As morning arrived, the storm began to subside.

By late morning,all that remained was a bone chilling cold .

Like last night's storm, the pain of last night will also move on.

And for a while, all that will be left will be that same bone chilling experience.

Eventually this to shall pass.

As for me, I heard lately that a parent can only be as happy as his saddest child.

As I drove to work this morning, I heard Janis as she wailed out "take another little piece of my heart".....

I just don't know how many more little pieces I have to give up.

It's been more than a few days............

"Today I am grateful for yesterday's lessons. For those who left me aflow with positive energy I thank you! For those conversations that left me with "something less " than a positive energy.....I really thank you. I sometimes forget how destructive , counterproductive,hurtful and harmful negative energy can be to me! I applaud the opportunity to take away another lesson learned. Always learning,always growing,always living!

Thank you all! "

David Spiegel

Facebook Post

November 12th 2012

I knew last week was going to be a challenge when it came to finding enough time slots to allow for some me time.

On Thursday I interviewed with the Paramus Adult Community School regarding a new course I am offering.

My Friday plans changed ,however new plans ended up eating away my entire afternoon and late into the evening.

Saturday started at 5:30 in the morning and did not stop until almost 7 p.m.

And my Sunday included cleaning at The Grooming Shoppe as well as my 2 bus runs.

All of this was handled with ease and without stress.

I made the choice to not complicate my life by not piling more on top of what was already on my plate.

That included writing.

I also opted out of my Sunday morning workout (two extra hours of pillow time were much appreciated).

Today is Veterans Day and Susan is off to see her parents. The facility they are in is having a Veterans Day program.

Becca is still in Florida.

Max is working of course and Sara has school.

This means that there is no one to watch the puppy today, so she will have to spend at least part of the day crated.

Not that this is a problem.

She actually handles the crate just fine.

Eventually she will have free run of the house.

She is still very young and learning the ropes as it were.

My hopes are that by this time tomorrow,life as I am accustomed to it, will be back to normal , what ever normal looks like.

All of the parts and players in my world will be back in place and I can once again begin to find some free time for myself.

That is until the next wave comes crashing in!

Have an awesome day!

Seems it does make a difference........

"The path to happiness is to live your life joyfully in your own way and to support and encourage others to do likewise."

JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE

This morning I took out a fresh clean shirt that just came back from the dry cleaners.

I donned a sweater that was given to me a few months ago that I had almost thrown away because the cuffs were really stretched out.

I rolled my shirt sleeve cuffs over the sweater's and put on a pair of shoes that I had not worn in a very long time, maybe a year.

I wasn't sure how this outfit looked but hey, I'm not exactly a head turner if you know what I mean.

A few minutes later, Susan past me as she walked through the kitchen .

She did a quick double take and said"nice outfit".

Hmmmm.....

At my second stop this morning, I got off of the bus to open the door of the apartment building where two of my riders live.

The first walked by me and commented"my you look nice today....."

Hmmmm....

Later this morning, I went to get a shape up on my beard before an appointment I have tomorrow.

My barber said"big day today.....you're dressed really nice."

Hmmmmm..........again!

It seems that this whole choice I have made to dress up for this party called life really does make a difference.

To be honest, I know I feel better about myself.

It certainly helps that I am on a 21 day cycle that seems to be working. I have dropped daily for the last 9 days.

Everything seems to fit just a little bit better. I also had a long overdue appointment with my podiatrist.

Pain free walking is a marvelous concept!

Did I mention that the sun is shining today as well?

A nice out fit, a little pep in your step and a smile o your face does wonders for the way that I show up to the party!

Election Day!

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

C. S. Lewis

Today is Election Day.

From all accounts this will be an historical non-presidential election year.

The turn out at the polls is predicted to surpass any ever seen during a mid term election.

Like many other Americans, I exercised my privilege to be vote.

(Yes it is a privilege not a right!)

For weeks I have been hearing that this election will have consequences that will effect my life in the most profound ways.

This I can guarantee!

Why you ask?

How do I know?

Simple.

The last vote that I cast today was for myself.

I have voted to turn off all of the noise.

No more news.

No more noise.

Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I will have no way of knowing if there was a blue or red wave.

I just don't care anymore!

Unless there is a direct immediate consequence to my existence , I don't need to know about it.

Do sports scores really mean anything to me?

Nope!

Neither does any of the rest of it.

I will not even check the weather.

The radio station that I listen to has a no news format.

Seriously,no news.

They do have weather and traffic updates , so I imagine I will have to suffer through them.

Other than that, I may as well be living in a cabin in the woods with no contact to the outside world.

You may be asking why I have chosen to do this.

Again, it's very simple....it just doesn't matter to me.

The only news item that has had a direct effect on my life this century may have been 9-11.

Yes, I knew people who died when the towers came down.

Thankfully, that had no direct effect on me.

The only effect that this one event had on me quite honestly was a few years of devastating financial and professional set backs.

Other than that, a few days without my cell phone and some changes in the way I travel.

Besides that,life goes on.

I don't need to hear anymore of the nasty rhetoric that fills the daily news cycle.

I will not have conversations about any of it unless it has some impact on me in this moment.

I'm done.

Depending on which side of the fence ,(I don't dare use the word wall), you sit on and the results of the election, there is bound to be more and more ill will and disgusting behavior.

It just won't be coming from me.

Don't need it,won't have it.

I'm done!

Time is not on my side!

"Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."

Mother Teresa

As is often the case,I am finding that this upcoming week will have some challenges when it comes to "ME" management.

Most people refer to "ME" management as time management. I find that preposterous.

Time is a constant.

60 minutes in an hour.

24 hours in a day.

7 days in a week.

It's just that simple.

It never changes.

Managing myself and how I use that time is where I hope to find opportunities.

Looking ahead to the week ahead,I can already see that my calendar is going to be pretty full.

It's a gorgeous Autumn day here in northern New Jersey.

In the 3 hours between my bus runs today, Max and I have some yard work that we have been putting off since early October.

This will take up the majority of any free time for Sunday.

Between my morning and afternoon runs on Monday, I have a can't miss podiatrist appointment.

On Wednesday,that free time will be used to get my haircut in preparation for my Thursday meeting with the Adult Community School here in town.

Friday is normally my free day.

This Friday, Sara has asked me to go with her to visit her grandparents.

My other free day is Saturday,however this week Becca is going away for the weekend. After driving her to the airport at 6 a.m. I will head back to the shop, where I will take her place as bather-manager.

Basically, there is no such thing as free time for me time this week.

Knowing this as I enter the new week is really helpful.

Trying to jam anything else onto my calendar would be counter productive ,a true set up for frustration and ultimately failure.

This week,I will just accept the fact that there may not be as many opportunities to add a whole lot more to my agenda.

Seems like a plan I can work with!

Shavua Tov!

Hello Dolly

“Greatness is the courage to overcome obstacles.”

~ Dr. David Hawkins

Say Hello to Dolly!

Dolly is the newest member of the Spiegel household.

She was my birthday present from my kids.

As you may remember it was a little over a year ago that we had to put Loki down.

We still had 2 dogs Mohgli and Bentley, so the incredible loss I felt without Loki was slightly mitigated.

Sadly, Bentley has been diagnosed with lymphoma and our time with him will be coming to an end in the not so distant future.

Mohgli has always had siblings and the general consensus in the house was that it would probably be best to bring in another dog while Bentley was still part of the community, with hopes that when the time comes ,Mohgli will have developed a relationship with this new comer.

For the last 2 months , the discussion has been around what kind of dog did we want.

Obviously we wanted a rescue.

After that, there were all sorts of considerations.

Male or female?

Big or bigger ?(we don't do small dogs around here!).

Older dog or puppy?

Long hair or short hair?

Notice, that there was never a discussion asking if I even wanted another dog.

That was something that I would not have a say in at all!

After weeks of images with the note"how about this one?", we had not come any closer to deciding and to be honest, I was not offering much input.

At dinner on my birthday , I was handed a card with a picture of Dolly that said

"Happy Birthday....we're going to meet her Thursday evening!".

The meeting was never about whether or not I wanted Dolly.

It was basically a meet and greet for the 2 dogs that already live at 159 Brookfield Ave.

We left to go meet Dolly at 6:45 and by 9 p.m. Dolly had moved in.

I found myself having a hard time getting excited whenever the discussion came up of getting another dog.

I wasn't against it.

In fact, I knew it was an inevitability.

Still, I was never enthusiastic at any point, including during the meet and greet and the subsequent ride home.

Why was this so?

I love dogs.

I love all dogs.

Why wouldn't I want another one?

On Friday as I was showing pictures of our new family member to some of my co-workers someone asked "are you excited".

It was then that I understood what was tempering my enthusiasm.

As I said, I love all dogs.

And Dolly, who is a really cute lovable pup, is no exception.

Loki was a beast!

Goliath , my first Berner,was a beast.

Samson was a beast.

Of the more than a dozen dogs that I have owned,the 3 dogs that I had the deepest connection to were not just dogs, they were beasts.

Samson,Loki and Goliath.

Even there names conjures up images of mythical beings ,biblical in their nature.

When I mentioned this ,one of my co-workers responded," that's why you identify with them".

OMG!

She was right.

I love dogs,all dogs.

These beasts that I have been gifted with in my lifetime were different.

My connection to them went way beyond that which I have with all of the others.

It's also a connection that comes with an enormous downside, the void that is left when they are no longer here.

I love this new pup.

She's sweet, affectionate,playful and adorable.

Everything you would want in a dog.

And thankfully, she's not a beast!

My heart just can't take that at this point.

Shabbat Shalom!

November Word of the Month

 "Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values."

~ Dalai Lama

November Word of the Month

Kindness

the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

I had actually planned to choose a different word for my November word of the month. That is until my mentor, John Maxwell shared the word kindness as his word of the day.

It resonated with me.

So did today's coaching from my mentor Darren Hardy who has me re- evaluating my commitment to a practice I have let slide away,my daily gratitude.

I find it hard to believe that these little bits and pieces popping up in my life are not some how interconnected and that The Universe is trying to remind me of who I really am.

Back in late August my friend,coach and colleague Adina Laver ,shared on one of her weekly podcasts the story of the You Matter Marathon (see the link attached)

You Matter Marathon

After listening to her interview with the founder of this project, I immediately took action and signed up to participate in this year's program.

By signing up, I received 30 cards with the words YOU MATTER on them.

The You Matter Marathon begins on November first and runs through the end of the month.

As a participant, my task is to give out 1 card a day,each day of November.

I gave out 1 card yesterday. Another card today.

The reactions of both recipients went far beyond heart warming. As moved as they were when they received this gift that did not compare to how grateful I felt in giving it to them. The experience was humbling.

In both cases, this simple white card with the words YOU MATTER on them brought tears to the eyes of both of the people I had given them to. A simple act of kindness.

Unbelievable!

I actually now have a second set of 30 cards.

I plan to step up my commitment by doubling up on giving these out. Next year, I am committed to becoming a sponsor to this program,with hopes of spreading this and helping this movement continue to grow.

November's word of the Month-KINDNESS.

I know that this is one thing I will be grateful for come November 22nd as we sit down to Thanksgiving diner.

Shabbat Shalom!